Secrecy

* * *
Secrecy, or Lydia
by Edmondia Dantes

* * *

Night calls out the specters,
or that is what they say...
They're wrong, of course,
for if they knew...
That I have danced in moonlight
I have danced in sunlight
and I have danced in rain.
I have seen a hundred thousand stars
I have loved a hundred times today.
I know where the dark things go
I have run through empty streets
I have raced all through the sands
I have known the unknown lands
I have laughed a million times before
along a foreign, wild shore.
I have been a peasant
and I have been a queen
I have been a girl in love
and I have been alone
and I have been on the arm
of the Great Unknown.
And they should never know of this,
never know my secret, sacred peace
never know my only friend
the only love I've ever had.
They should never know that I
have done what I should not
Never know that I have played
through endless night and day
been places where no mortal
has ever dared to roam.
They must never know of this,
never know of my true self,
never know of this double life,
never know of this attraction.
I have followed the trail of a madman
over and over again,
for it is he, and he alone,
who made me laugh again.
I have danced with a god
who crowned me goddess
I have looked into eternity,
and been unafraid.
I have been touched by a devil
who swore his soul to me.
I have seen horror and knew it well
I have held Death and ached for him.
I have cried a thousand times
I have laughed a thousand more
and I have loved the intangible more
than I love life itself.
For why should I love life?
It offers not what eternity does,
Is calm and normal and expected
And it knows me not at all.
Therefore I love the shadows,
and the dark of the blackest night,
Therefore I am awake,
though by the prompting of eternal slumber
Therefore I love what cannot be
And therefore can they never know.
It should be written in the stars
it should be shouted to the skies
it should be sung in a thousand voices
'I love him!'
But never can it be so.
So I love in secret,
so I weep alone,
so in the shadows must I creep,
this precious secret mine to keep.
And I don't care.
Because to him I am the world,
because to him I am goddess and queen
because to him I am all that is good and right
because to him I am everything
that he loves and worships and adores.
By his hands I learned,
at his side I marveled,
in his arms I loved.
And I will keep my secret,
and I will live my life
but I will cling to shadow,
to scarlet and silver
to black and to white...
They say that specters only come out at night.
They're wrong.
And yet, they're right.

* * *

AN: I suppose this one really deserves an explanation. It is from the pov of an adult Lydia Deetz, and greatly inspired by Adrienne Odasso's Time Will Tell, although it does not describe the story, but rather the idea behind it, that of Beetlejuice and and older Lydia forming a relationship. Go read the fic, it's marvelous.

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