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by Edmondia Dantes
Disclaimer: Not mine.
AN: A bit of crack requested by torsui, with the prompt of Ranma/Ryouga, "twist."
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"Erm," said Ranma from about a half an inch away, scratching the back of his neck nervously and attempting for a smile that failed utterly. "This is awkward."
"WHAT THE HELL?!" screeched Ryouga, attempting to leap up and away and only succeeding in bashing his skull against the trunk of a rather large tree. He didn't notice.
"Hey, shut up already! S'not like it doesn't happen to everybody anyway!" Ranma snapped defensively, blushing darkly enough to smash his own attempt at self-defense.
Ryouga flattened himself against the tree and began to slide away. "This explains so much," he mumbled to himself, eyes wide. "This explains everything."
"What the - IT DOES NOT."
"Junkie! Pervert! Weirdo!" Ryouga accused, voice entirely too high-pitched to really be manly. "This is why you're so much better than everyone else! This is why you fight all the time!"
"Wha - hey. You do it too!"
"I DO NOT!"
"I HAVE NEVER POKED ANYONE WITH THAT DURING A FIGHT!"
Ranma's complexion now rivalled that of a tomato. "Gah! Shut up!"
"...oh my God," Ryouga muttered dazedly, "You molested me. You molested me in a fight. What would Akane say? What would - Akane. She'll never - we'll never - DIE, RANMA! DIE!" He dove at his throat, and a few minor scuffles and a pulverized rock or three later, Ranma managed to grab him by the nose and grin a truly evil grin.
"Dude. Is that a bandanna in your pocket, or are you having as much fun as I am?"
Ryouga promptly turned purple. "IT'S A BANDANNA!"
"Yuh-huh. Sure it is."
"You know, you're really not helping your defense much. You keep attacking me."
"Mmm-hmm. Suuuuuure, Ryouga. C'mere and try to kill me."
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